This Father’s Day was my first, and it was a good day…AND I didn’t even have sex that day. So THAT should tell you how good of day it REALLY WAS.
A big part of that day was the gift my wife got for me – customized dog tags.
I like fashion. So what? I tend to like things that allow a person to be self-expressive. My wife – BEING A WOMAN – tends to dig fashion as well. One of the many interests we share that work to our mutual advantage I suppose. Anyway, we have spent years looking for the perfect dog tag accessory, usually w/ no luck. It’s usually too flashy, too many diamonds, cheesy, too military, has a picture on the front for some reason, or just unreasonably expensive.
So after 7 years of searching, she just had some custom made.
Dual worn metal on leather w/ personalized inscription – perfect.
One tag has a mutually understood saying of ours (probably the subject of another post), while the other had three dates inscribed:
- June MMV 
- Oct MMXI 
- May MMXII 
I immediately recognized the first 2 dates – the month/year we got married and the month/year our son was born. The third date was a little difficult to recall – OH SHIT – “I’m gonna be in trouble for forgetting whatever significant event happened LAST MONTH!”, I thought to myself. [I’m not actually sure if you’re supposed to use parentheses for internal thoughts, but it’s past midnight and I’m NOT Googling that shyt up.]
Whatever – I’m not gonna pretend, “What’s this last date on here? From last month?”
She said almost sheepishly, “Yeah, from last month.”
“What was significant about that month to you? What do you remember about that date?”
[pause] “I remember you saying stuff about motivation and what it takes to achieve your goals and how you were glad that I was motivated and felt like I could do anything – just ya’ know, stuff like that.”
Now I remembered. For a few months now I had been feeling extra motivated – extra creative [more on that in another upcoming post as well], and I was now convinced that I could truly be a different person – by simply being myself. And I was excited at that prospect, but also unsure of how to convey this newfound excitement properly to my wife. I’ve dropped pretty big bombs on her previously regarding my “thoughts” and have come to find out that I need to tread carefully when finally revealing one of my infamous conclusions or life questions.
But that day was different. Earlier in the year she told me that her goal was to run a full mile non-stop. I know that may not seem like a big goal to you, but that was a HUGE goal for her. No, she’s not physically unable to run a mile………..she just doesn’t know how to jog. Yes, that’s right – jog. Don’t judge her, that’s just her thing – WHAT’S YOURS? “What do you mean, she doesn’t know how to jog?” Just that. She sprints actually. She’s grown up a sprinter – soooooo when you try to jog with her……….she’ll beat you. Every time. CAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO JOG! She just SPRINTS EVERYWHERE! It’s ridiculous actually. She can only go about a 100 feet-stomps before she’s tuckered out. So you’ll pass her eventually.
So cardio hasn’t really been her thing throughout our marriage. ANYWAYS, she makes the goal of changing that about herself and starts reading online about running and strength training (along w/ some of her other goals), and set out on a journey based on knowledge, action, discipline, and perseverance. Lo and BEHOLD!
One day late in May MMXII was the day she announced that she [technically] completed her goal of running a mile non-stop. Read about it here.
I remember her being so proud of herself, and saying, “I feel so motivated! I feel like I can do Anything!”
That was my opening. That’s when I started rambling like a mad man about all my recent musings around goals, and motivation, and perseverance, and the power of doing. About taking control of your life and how the system works, and controlling your own destiny, and defining your own life. About success. And the inevitably of it if you relentlessly pursue it – and smartly pursue it.
I was rambling so much I wouldn’t let her. Once I realized it, I shut down. She never really said two more words. She took a shower and then we went to sleep.
I never even knew how my ramble came off to her. I didn’t know if any of it made sense to her or was her husband just rambling his usual mumbo jumbo uggidy boogidy? I had no clue that she was only quiet after I shut down that night, because it DID click to her. The concepts she put forth to hit her mile running goal, WORK IN LIFE PERIOD. Guess it resonated so well with her that she decided to permanently inscribe the date alongside our wedding and the birth of our first child. Because once IT CLICKS, for real, the day you acquire that mindset is just as important as any other milestone in your life.
You can set and achieve those small goals. You can learn more. You can use those small goals to get to the bigger ones. You can dedicate yourself to something other than your titles. You can power through the difficulties with the right support. You are truly either your own best asset or your own worst liability – many times unknowingly both. CHOOSE TO BE THE ASSET.
If you actively CHOOSE to be your own best asset – EVERYDAY? – success CAN’T HIDE FROM YOU. Game over. Done. Shut it down. It’s a game of odds and you have to give yourself the best shot.
I was thrilled that looking at my gift I was looking at a physical representation of proof that I was heard. I was also thrilled that it now seemed like we were both potentially looking at the same picture.
Sure, the day woulda been a little better w/ some quality time on the side, but for once, it couldn’t have been that much better ’cause –
What about your life are you taking control of? Or want to? It’s YOUR life. Talk to me.