[Listening to: Life is Good – Nas]
It’s not that I’m ungrateful that I have a job unlike many other struggling folks out there. Yes, I’m glad I’m gainfully employed. Truly, I am. At the same damn time [s/o to Future again], I’m ready to get fired from that bitch.
Yes, it would suck. Yes, my family would struggle for a while. No, I probably wouldn’t be able to attend our family vacation to Orlando this year or me and my wife’s planned vaca to finally see Croatia next year.
But is that all I would be giving up? Is that the price to pay for some peace of mind?
I’m essentially paid to solve problems. The company’s problems. And every single day there are a multitude of them. Some large, some small. They almost always involve money and some sort of relationship is usually on the line. At any given moment my phone could ring with a million dollar problem that I might solve in a few seconds. The next moment I could receive an e-mail on a $7 discrepancy that could take a whole entire week to resolve. My reputation is always at stake either way.
We jokingly refer to ourselves as firefighters around the office. There’s always a fire that needs to be put out.
That’s how I spend most of my waking life. That’s how I spend my time here on Earth. By putting out my company’s fires in a manner that will keep revenues consistently coming their way. Each revenue dollar earned is a dollar fought for. Negotiated for. Argued for. Beat down for. For them. At the end of the year, I can hope for 2.33% more IF we as an organization was profitable. Inflation doesn’t exist during performance reviews. It sure does exist when we’re pricing up a client’s account for another year though.
Everything is run on/by metrics. I am a metric in that world.
I keep going back for all the same reasons any of us do – money, obligation, expectations, lack of options, fear, comfort. Kids gotta eat, right?
Getting let go makes one uncomfortable. It creates uncertainty. Maybe that’s something I need right now. We’ve all heard the getting-fired-was-the-best-thing-that-happened-to-me stories, and that’s because these people for forced into a situation where they had to reevaluate how they were spending their time. If never placed in the precarious situation, if they were allowed to remain comfortable, there’s no motivation to really change anything. It’s actually to your advantage to not rock the boat, less you inadvertently make yourself uncomfortable.
I’m rocking the fucking boat anyway. I don’t feel good about what I do every single day. So in turn, I don’t feel good about how I spend the majority of my waking time on this planet. That’s a shitty realization. But it’s true.
So where’s the downside to getting let go from that? Sounds like an opportunity to me. An opportunity to build my life as I see fit. An opportunity to build relationships that matter. Relationships with my family, my parents, my son, my in-laws, my wife, my friends, my supporters that all need nurturing. Build relationships within my community and with other people trying to show others that this oligarchy isn’t necessary. Build relationships with the next generation coming up being falsely taught that even though they’re all so unique and special, they’ll all be made happy being a cog in a wheel with a mortgage in the suburbs and 2.5 kids alongside a couple new model vehicles. THAT’S what happiness looks like, kids! So do your best to get it, cause those are the only ones in the world that are truly happy!
The model is changing. It’s actually already changed, but we just haven’t caught up yet. Maybe if I were let go, I could spend my time on this earth bridging that gap. I think I would enjoy that immensely more than being a firefighter to the faceless stockholder.
What’s your Everyday look like?