So isomKuade posed a very serious, man-like question yesterday as he inquired about why we women need a new outfit for every event. My first thought was, “Seriously? You really DON’T have a clue why?” And then I remembered that sometimes our Y – chromosomed counterparts need a little help. Thus, I’ve decided to break it down into 10 simple explanations for why it is imperative that a new outfit MUST be purchased prior to attending any event (in no particular order…except #1):
10. It’s like a fun challenge! If we find a bad outfit, in a limited amount of time, AND on sale?!! Who is cooler than you are at that moment?
9. You can’t properly drop it like it’s hot if you’re not FEELING hot…and a new outfit does that. It’s like magic!
8. There is NO WAY you can have your nails done, hair done, everything did and NOT have a new ‘fit to go with it! (Oh yea, we fancy!)
7. It’s just what we do. Like going to the bathroom in groups, it’s something that we wouldn’t be women if we didn’t do it.
6. It all began with MySpace and now Facebook and Instagram. Soon as we post ourselves in our flyest outfit, that’s it. It’s retired like a your favorite player’s old jersey. Everyone has seen us in it and it can never been worn AND posted again. Time to go shopping!
5. It is likely that we bought a pair of shoes (or some accessories) that we couldn’t live without a month, or even years ago, and this event has now inspired the need to find THE perfect dress or outfit to go with it.
4. We may have gained or lost weight and nothing in our closet fits right. And don’t let it be that time of the month… as this may lead to irritability should we not be able to find a new outfit when we go to find one. Men: this is your warning.
3. Nothing in our current wardrobe fits the “mood” of this moment nor this event. Therefore, it’s a MUST that we head to get something that does
2. We have nothing to wear. Really. Do not be deceived by what you see in our closets. Those items, like a new car, depreciate the minute they are walk out of the store and the high from that purchase has passed. And yes, even those clothes that you might see that still have tags on them (don’t judge us).
1. We do it to feel good! To feel new and feel alive. When we do, we exude confidence and when we are confident, we are sexy! Bottom line: we do it to look good for YOU, men. And believe me… you don’t want your girl humming Freakum Dress while she’s putting on that new outfit she just bought. You’ll thank me later.